From the Bench
IS THE VICE PRESIDENT "REALLY" IN HIDING?
Lake Superior State University is a school "after my own heart." They should love that cliché.
Since 1979, the school has been compiling an annual " banished word" list, selected from over-used and senseless phrases provided from all over the country. The 2003 list has just been released, including such jewels as "undisclosed secret location" for Dick Cheney’s hiding place during the 2001 crisis. I suppose an "undisclosed secret" includes a "do not leak" tag. Only in D. C.
"Homeland security" was another winner, as was "weapons of mass destruction". A thought: What better homeland security than a well-managed firearm in the hands of a law-abiding citizen? On the other hand, what worse "weapon of mass destruction" than an Uzi in the hands of a nut? You pro and anti gun folks fight that one out.
Another winner this year was "untimely death." I don’t know about you, but I want my death to be "timely", and not for a long time.
1996 had some good ones. "Your call is very important to us." Sure. That’s why you had me listen to a machine, push all those buttons, and wait twenty minutes. As they said in an earlier year, "Go figure."
That year also gave us "race card" and "closure"; however, there was no "closure" on "race card", which continues to hang on as tenaciously as Al Sharpton.
As for discrimination, Trent Lott seemed to be steaming ahead in overdrive in 2002. No "reverse discrimination" for him.
In the year 2000, a lot of children were "at risk." It’s no wonder. Inept adults in Florida were doing a "manual recount by hand", when any fool could have told them that a recount by foot, while not manual, would have worked, too. Except that most of them, including the media, had their feet in their mouths.
"Factoids" of trivia hit us in 2001, sending a number of science fiction buffs into a "red alert" for a pending alien invasion. More practical beings sniffed, "Nonsense. My doctor has removed several over the years. Didn’t hurt a bit."
In 1994 people were making "stupid mistakes." To tell the truth, I am STILL making a few that I don’t consider very smart.
A lot of "outsourcing" went on in 1997. That meant "we don’t make it here." Come to think about it, we have been outsourcing our groceries for years, ever since my daddy quit farming and mama stopped canning and preserving.
My wife goes grocery outsourcing several times a week. And she learned something very important in 1999 from watching TV ads. When you go shopping and can’t find something, be sure to "ask for it by name." Otherwise, you may come home with sardines and toilet paper when you wanted milk and bread.
Right now, a greater concern to me than groceries is the sabre rattling of the Bush administration towards Iraq. Looks like we are going to send out ("deploy" they would call it) another "peacekeeping force" to let the world know who the boss is. All these "peacekeeping forces" seem to be aimed at "pacifying" anything that gets in their way.
Trying to "segue" into an ending for such a menage as this leaves me groping for a "final destination." And I’m finally there……I think. Or is there another destination beyond the "final" one?
In any event, it’s almost midnight, and I’m "losing it"……whatever "it" is.