From the Bench

GUNS ‘N BUTTER

My friend, Frisbee called from Atlanta over the weekend. "You coming to my Valentine party?", he asked.

I apologized for not RSVP’ing him. I had forgotten.

"I’m not much for parties, and Valentine is the worst," I said. "Besides, too far to come just for that."

"You gotta come and see my big remodeling project. Spent twenty thousand on the media room. Adding a pool in the spring."

"Business must be good," I commented.

"Not really," he said. "Last year was terrible. Worst ever. This year HAS to be better."

"Where you getting all the money?," I asked.

"Ever hear of credit? I refinanced the house, took out some equity, and the rest is credit cards." He was ecstatic.

"Frisbee, you’re outta your mind. The economy is in the toilet, you had a bad year, and you’re spending like a drunk sailor. Marie’s still working, I suppose."

"Nah. She got laid off last fall, but that’s OK. My credit’s good."

He couldn’t see me shaking my head. "Just like a liberal," I said. "Spending more than you make."

Frisbee and I have never agreed on politics.

"Have you listened to YOUR president lately?", he shot back. "He’s cutting taxes, going to war, fighting AIDS in Africa, giving three bil to Israel and promising more, and giving the country the biggest deficits since your hero, Reagan."

I was silent.

"HELLO. Nelson, you still there?"

"You against the war in Iraq?," I asked, trying to change directions and get some relief.

"H--- no," he answered emphatically. "If this thing blows, I’ve got half a million in government contracts sewed up. Why? You against the war?"

He had me again, flinging the patriotism thing back in my face. Thankfully, he could not see that I had already removed the flag from my lapel.

"I just think this guns ‘n butter thing, spending more here, and this PR campaign for a war with Iraq doesn’t make sense. Lyndon Johnson did the same thing over Viet Nam and look where it got us. Just more debt and Texas swagger."

"Nelson, I can’t believe my ears. You voted for Bush, you know."

"Don’t remind me," I answered. "Have a great party."