From the Bench
BUT WE CAN’T DO WITHOUT THEM!
My daughter, Beth’s, feeble attempt at internet humor over my winning the
cowdrop lottery just goes to prove…… you can never trust a woman.
Beth is my webmaster, and, in the final analysis, decides what goes on line.
She also handles my technical and hardware problems, making her indispensable
to my operation; therefore, I can’t go too far in alienating her.
However, an incident this weekend, when she came over from South Carolina,
makes me even more suspicious. I had purchased a new component, which she
promised to install into my computer.
She tore into the guts of the lifeless form with reckless abandon, changing
wires, installing parts, performing open-heart surgery, snapping its metal
chest back together and then trying to breathe life back into the monster.
Frankinstein refused to budge.
This happened about four times, until near midnight, whereupon she put it
on final life support……some kind of diagnostic that promised to run half
the night......then went to bed.
Before retiring, however, Beth left me with the comforting thought that
the hard drive had possibly crashed. In computer parlance this means, "Notify
the next-of-kin."
This was ironic, since the initial purpose of the operation was to add a
CD-write drive to download my files……in case the hard drive were to crash.
Go figure.
I went to bed thinking we had discovered where the $2,000 cowdrop winnings
were going.
Miraculously, the next morning the computer came back to life, reinforcing
my suspicions. Was all of this a ruse to impress on me just how indispensable
she is? If so, it worked, reminding me of an email story from my old church
buddy of many years, Weyman Barber, concerning female deviousness.
It is about ten men and a woman dangling from a rope that is fraying and
about to break because of the weight. They decide that one of them will
have to make the sacrifice and turn loose.
Nobody wants to let go, so, finally, the woman makes an impassioned speech
about how women have always made the sacrifices…….having the babies, cooking,
and caring for their husband’s every need. "However," she said,
"this is appropriate, since men are more intelligent, stronger, and
more necessary to keep civilization afloat! So I bid you goodbye."
The men were so impressed that they all clapped.
OK, Beth. You win. I’m clapping.