From the Bench

Robert Frost wrote a poem that started out, "Something there is that doesn't love a wall." I think the same could be said of boxes, especially at this time of year.

You go to the malls and everyone is scurrying about, gathering together things to put in boxes. Then, in a few weeks, they will distribute the boxes to friends, family, co-workers. And those same people will respond in kind.....more boxes.

We call this shopping madness "Christmas". There are some who find great joy in shopping, at least until the credit card bills arrive in January. In fact, surveys have shown that many women list "shopping" as their favorite pastime.

My wife is one of those. I seldom shop at Christmas, and I never go with my wife. This makes both of us happy.

I see no sense in trying to decide what style or color of clothing to buy for someone who is perfectly capable of buying his own. But his wife is out trying to decide what style or color of clothing to buy for me, so it must be done.

The worst part of Christmas for me is opening the boxes. I never went to acting school.

"Oh, what a lovely tie," I say enthusiastically. I am thinking, "If I throw up on it, no one will ever notice."

And since my wife did all the shopping, what do I say when someone thanks me for the gift? I have no earthly idea what it was. My brother-in-law and I have a private joke. When either of us thanks the other for the gift, the response is, "You're welcome. What did I give you?" It has become a ritual that we thoroughly enjoy.

But if you don't show appreciation, it can put a cloud over the holiday that Ebenezer Scrooge would be proud of. I once worked with a fellow whose grossly outspoken wife did just that. She opened her mother's gift and exclaimed, "Mama, I told you I didn't want a *#@+ *#*+ fruitcake."

I agree with her opinion of fruitcakes, although I would not be so timely or colorful in expressing myself. From there, as he related it, Christmas day went downhill. The couple later divorced. Christmas can be hazardous.

You may think, from what I have said, that I don't enjoy Christmas. Not so; however, the best part of Christmas is not gifts in boxes. The best part of Christmas is people, especially family....and, most especially, children.

Think back to past Christmases. Your warmest memories probably involve people and events, not pretty, colored boxes.

Over the centuries we have hung a lot of baggage onto Christmas. Consequently, a time that should be the most joyful part of the year sometime becomes the most hectic, anxiety-filled, and loneliest of times ....if we let it.

Boxes of Christmas presents are fine if we don't allow them to overshadow what Christmas should be. The best of Christmas is people. And relationships.

The best we can give is ourselves, and the best we can receive is the acceptance of others as they are, and not as we think they ought to be.

Christmas came to us as unconditional love....the greatest gift of all. Often we get so busy that we forget. And we forget, also, that the eternal beauty of Christmas is its simplicity. Its symbol is a star; its messenger, a baby; its message, love....things you cannot put into a box.

Ó2000        Dave Nelson